Welcome to part 3 of the Self-worth Challenge!
This is the final part of my blog on discovering healthy self-worth. You can find Part 1 if you click here, and Part 2 here
So far we’ve learned that self-awareness and self-acceptance are important aspects of discovering and healing our sense of self-worth.
The third ingredient which adds the magic to the mix is finding self-compassion; showing compassion towards yourself.
Self-compassion
Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness and love as you would a friend. Giving yourself good things.
It means when you’re in pain or trouble, recognising that and giving yourself kindness, support and care, rather than ignoring it. Speaking kindly to yourself, releasing the burden of self-judgement.
It means acknowledging and accepting that you’re human and that mistakes and experiencing difficulties are part of that.
When we are being self-aware and practicing self-acceptance, self-compassion is the vital ingredient that helps us to do it.
Even if we don’t feel worthy right now, by practicing self-compassion we can help our feelings of worth and love for ourselves grow. We can start to love ourselves.
We can give ourselves the love unconditionally, and be the love that we never received from others. We can start to fill that hole.
When we truly love ourselves, we can allow ourselves to fully receive love from others. Before, we didn’t feel worthy enough to receive love.
And when we can receive love we will be able to give love to others, unconditionally.
Today’s challenge #1
So for today’s first challenge, I’d like you to go out of your way to deliberately do something kind for yourself. You choose!
It could be something very simple like giving yourself a hug and saying ‘I appreciate you’ or doing something special that you’ve wanted to do and haven’t made time yet.
It could be noticing when you’re feeling badly about something and saying “Yes! It really sucks when this happens, no wonder I feel this way. What do I need right now?”
It’s okay if it feels a weird to do it. It’s new. Making self-compassion into a habit it will start to become more natural with time.
How is that for you? Did you notice any resistance to the idea?
Three aspects helping you find your innate self-worth
Let’s recap what we’ve covered. We’ve looked at three main aspects that help us get a grip on a healthy sense of self-worth:
- Self-awareness
- Self-acceptance
- Self-compassion
Rediscovering our innate value as human beings through these aspects creates a solid foundation for self-worth.
When our feelings of worth are tied to external things like what people think of us, or how successful we are, or some part of our identity, then at some stage we are going to struggle because those things are liable to fluctuate and even completely disappear.
For example, if we rely on feelings of worth from being a high earner and we lose our job and become jobless for a long period of time, self-worth is going to take a dive. Having a low sense of self-worth is a heavy burden to carry and will affect how we show up in the world.
Imagine if you don’t require that external validation to feel worthy, that you can always have it on tap, how much freer you could feel and how your life could change!
What do you think that freedom would mean for you? Not worrying so much about what others think and not being tied to someone else’s idea of success?
Challenge #2
Identify one aspect that your sense of self-worth is currently attached to.
Now imagine what it might be like, to not need your self-worth to be attached to that.
Now think what you might you be able to do now you are not tied to it.
Here’s an example: if my sense of self-worth is attached to my job being highly paid, and I removed that attachment, I would not be tied to highly paid work and might find something that I really enjoy doing and that is less stressful.
Here’s another: if my sense of self-worth was no longer bound to people approving of me, I would be able to live my life according to my values, and not restricted by somebody else’s. I would be able to say no to doing things I didn’t want to.
What do you think about that?
The end of the Challenge
We’re at the end of the challenge and I hope it’s given you food for thought.
I’ve tried to provide a background to why finding your innate self-worth is so important and some areas you can keep coming back to explore.
It’s not necessarily an easy or quick journey, but the choice and commitment to do it is one you can make right now.
If you have any questions you can leave them in the comments.
With my very best wishes for your self-worth journey!
Counselling for self-worth
Acknowledging and fostering self-worth is at the heart of much of the therapeutic work I do. Our innate self-worth that we are born with and entitled too, tends to get lost along the way as we start to believe that we have to be or behave in a certain way to have value in the eyes of others and to be happy with ourselves. If you’d like to explore what therapy for self-worth is about you can contact me to arrange a free half hour chat.
As a therapist in Bradford on Avon, I am committed to helping individuals navigate their emotional challenges and improve their overall quality of life. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure of how to move forward, counselling can offer a way to make positive, lasting changes. Together, we can work to address the issues that are holding you back and help you find greater clarity, balance, and peace of mind.
How to Book an Appointment
To book a free half-hour introductory call, or find out more about my counselling services in Bradford on Avon, you can contact me directly via:
- Phone call 07421 219910. If you leave a message I will call you back.
- Email bel.gamlin@protonmail.com
- Or contact me through my BACP directory listing. The contact form is on the left side under my profile picture.
- You can also use my Calendly page to arrange an introductory session. Contact me direct if these times don’t suit you
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