How will you be lonely this Christmas?

• Missing loved ones who are no longer around?

• Feeling excluded because your grown up kids would rather do their own thing?

• Surrounded by your family but you don’t feel seen and respected for who you really are?

• Feeling so down Christmas feels meaningless?

The Pressure of Christmas

There’s just so much pressure to be jolly at Christmas isn’t there? Everybody seems to be having a wonderful time, but for many of us it can be a bitter sweet experience, or there may be no sweet at all.

For all the people who find Christmas especially hard; I see you.

How can we care for ourselves when we feel lonely at Christmas?

Maybe this blog can help you navigate and care for yourself during these difficult times. I’ve thought about four different areas of self care considerations that may be able to help make a difference.

1. Acknowledge how you feel.

There’s a good reason why you’re feeling this way. And at this time of year, you’re not alone and it’s a perfectly valid way to feel.

Embracing the sadness of your loneliness may help you to find that healing state of self-compassion and self-nurturing kindness which will allow you to take care of yourself and make the best of things.

Let’s disengage from the shaming self-critical voice in our heads that make’s us feel even worse and loves to beat us up. It doesn’t really help us and can keep us stuck.

It may help to talk about your feelings with a trusted companion who can help to validate how you feel.

2. Feather your nest.

If you know how you’re going to feel, you can prepare. Make wherever you’re staying a safe space with the things you know you like; little treats for yourself, cosy blankets, a list of your favourite movies to watch, ideas for crafting, walks you intend to take, meals you will enjoy.

Mindful practices may help bring a sense of peace. Purposely notice the little things which make you smile.

You can invent a new way the celebrate Christmas or to think of it as any other day of the year.

It’s important to remember you deserve to be treated with special care when you need it and you can do this for yourself with love.

3. Connect in different ways.

We all need connection. Get in contact with supportive friends or family. Be brave! People will respond positively when you reach out by phone, message, or video call  

Go out for a walk locally to the shops, pubs and parks. People can be friendlier at Christmas time when they’re feeling relaxed.

Look out for special initiatives locally for people on their own to get together at Christmas. Your local church or place of worship may be a good place to start.

Find ways you can get support online; this may be from reaching out through social media or support forums such as Mind’s ‘Side by Side’ community. The Samaritans helpline on 116 123 is always available if you are feeling very low.

4. Get involved.

Maybe pair up with someone you know who’s on their own too if that suits you. Perhaps one of your neighbours would appreciate an invitation.

Or shake up your Christmas by volunteering at local Christmas events such as those providing Christmas meals. There’s a lot of joy to be had by helping others, and the chance to make new friendships too.

Is there anything that might be helpful for you here?

If one or two things have been helpful for you, that’s great!

Have you got any good ideas for self care when you’re feeling lonely at Christmas? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

I hope your version of Christmas works really well for you this year. Take care, Bel xx